Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Poor Spacey vs. The Pooper

Before I tell this tale, it has to be noted that a few faithful readers have complained that I do not post as often as I used to. They're right, I don't. I just don't have as much material this year!!!

Until today.

During math I am the only adult in the classroom and I've just set up centers for the kiddos to work at. This allows me to sit with one table to take notes and assessments while everyone else is busy - and productively busy.

About halfway through math time, organized chaos walked in the door to deliver some pictures of toilets that my co-teacher was copying. Toilets you ask? Well yes. You see, The Pooper, while poop and pee free, still doesn't understand when to use the bathroom. So we are posting pictures of toilets next to the appropriate times. Unpack, snack, and lunch. 18 out of my 19 kiddos are able to stick to this schedule with the occasional emergency that I have no problem granting. I am confident that The Pooper will learn.

The number has actually changed to 17 out of 19, so let me bring you back to organized chaos's arrival into my room. After she dropped the toilet pictures on my desk she began circling around the tables on her way out and discovered a pee-colored puddle next to The Pooper's chair. But The Pooper wasn't in his chair, Poor Spacey was. I am unclear as to the conversation that Poor Spacey had with organized chaos but the result was that a) It wasn't Poor Spacey that peed, she was just sitting in it, and b) it was assumed that The Pooper had peed without alerting anyone and then moved along to another center.

This is when I got involved. We examined The Pooper's pants and saw that they were dry but I know what we were thinking - "did it just go right down his leg and onto the floor?" "Boys can do that right?" This seemed unlikely, but this is The Pooper we are talking about. We just assume it was he who had an accident. So we asked him in a variety of ways only to discover that this line of questioning was useless. A variety of one word answers were given - juice, water, his table-mate, etc. He had no idea what we were saying. The Pooper's poor communication skills and our confusion were a hindrance at this point.

Meanwhile, Poor Spacey had moved to another table and was going about her business as if her entire butt wasn't soaked in urine.

Finally I gave up, and asked organized chaos to take Poor Spacey to the clinic for dry clothes. The other children were swarming like bees wondering who peed their pants and I had pee to clean up (not to mention teaching math, but obviously that's secondary). I piled on a layer of paper towels and Clorox Wipes and got to work on cleaning up the mysterious puddle.

20 minutes later...

Because that's how long it takes Poor Spacey to put pants on...

And through questioning from organized chaos and our school nurse...

It was deduced that Poor Spacey peed in The Pooper's chair and then allowed him to be rolled under the bus. She said she didn't know she was doing it...

REALLY?!

6 comments:

MemoryMaker said...

This one had me laughing out loud - which by the way - is not real appropriate at nap time. I mean, we have all been down this road before but you tell it so eloquently. I almost felt like I was listening to an exercise in phomenic awareness with all the P words. Glad you took the time to post. :)

kiri8 said...

Hate to say it, but from this end, that's a funny story.

Too bad you had to clean up the mess; I get to call my favorite janitor and then he does it!

Tracey said...

This is why I teach 5th grade! Your a saint!

Andy and Jenni said...

AWESOME! What kind of career fields cater to obliviousness?

I think I love Poor Spacey. And The Pooper...don't it just suck that once your "The Pooper" you're always the pooper. Well I guess in this case "The Pee-er."How do you spell that?

Could you somehow have integrated liquid measurement into your lesson?

:)

Anonymous said...

this is probably worse than my baby's errant pee adventures that I complain about. at least he has the excuse of only being 4 months old. at least i am not trying to teach him math while his pee escapes the diaper.

~erin

splatypus said...

SHE DID IT AGAIN! TODAY! Good grief.