Monday, April 26, 2010

My Real Resume

I was memed by organized chaos this weekend... yep, she gave me homework (but I still love her). The assignment was to share what my real resume would look like, not the one I would submit for employment, but the one that gives a true sense of my talents as a kindergarten teacher. So, here we go.

  • Able to foster real or fake excitement (they look the same) over anything from a new baby sister to a story about playing Mario and not dying. In their eyes, that's equal excitement.
  • Able to make a rainy day into cozy reading time and still align it with my states' standards.
  • Able to maintain a straight, non-gagging face as flatulence fills the air.
  • Able to help child who has never held a pencil write an entire book on sharks, all by themselves.
  • Able to give gentle reminders to pee in the pot, not on the floor, as if I am reminding them to push in their chairs.
  • Able to discuss all toileting issues with ease.
  • Able to sing The Ant Song, The -Ing Song, The Five Senses Song, The Yellow Song, The Red Song (you get the picture) year after year with as much gusto as if I am singing it for the first time.
  • Able to teach a child who reads on a 2nd grade level and a child who doesn't recognize their ABC's in the same room, at the same time, with the same lesson, at each of their levels. It's called differentiation but I call it teaching.
  • Able to accept sneak attach hugs without shock or surprise.
  • Able to wear a pink sparkly princess sticker on my shirt all day long without batting an eye. It's a gift after all.
  • As colleagues have mentioned, able to hold my pee for 8 hour or more.
  • Able to get excited about 2+2 and 1+3 and spread that excitement to a 5 year old.
  • Able to tell when a 5 year old has behavior issues or a learning disability, or a mixture of both.
  • Able to smile politely when people who meet me say, "awwwwwww" when I tell them what I do.
  • Able to spend 8.5 hours a day in a room built for people half my size.
  • Able to sit on a rug that has been bled, peed, pooped and vomited on without ever being properly cleaned without a problem.
  • Able to understand how important a sticker can be.
  • Able to find a rhyming word for ANYTHING.
  • Able, after a learning curve, to come home to my husband and not talk to him like he's 5.
  • Able to take a child who used to pout when we had independent reading time to a point where she begs for new books.
  • Able to talk for hours about the importance of play; and...
  • Able to talk for hours about the importance of Reading Workshop and Writing Workshop.
  • Able to get up every morning, no matter how tired, and put on a smiling face for 21 five year olds.


  • Vomit. I don't do vomit.


Mr. J said...

I have the utmost respect and admiration for your craft. I subbed in kindergarten for 3 days when I was in college; we finished about a day's worth of plans in that time. Like herding cats! Still, many of these points resonate, and I may have to add them to my resume for third grade the next time I'm job hunting

Snippety Gibbet said...

When I taught in parochial school, we had a custodian who refused to do vomit. Teachers had to do it. If you had lunch duty, bus duty, regular teaching, whatever, you had to clean it up. Unreal.

OMG. You will NOT BELIEVE what my word varification is for this comment. "barfers". I kid you not. I need to take a screen shot of this. LOL.